Very often, many of us married people wonder: “How can we stay together forever, always supporting and loving each other? How do we make relationships in the family harmonious? Is it possible to live without quarrels and conflicts?”.
It turns out that everything is not so complicated! It is necessary to know the essential rules that heals a relationship or marriage of injuries. Let’s check three of them.
Do you think it is necessary to praise your partner?
We will share a little secret: every man/woman needs to know that he/she is appreciated; otherwise, he/she closes up and feels unhappy in the relationship.
A famous couples’ therapist shared once about how, many years ago, her grandmother taught this art to women she knew. Being a little girl, she listened to the grandmother’s words, but at that time, she did not understand their meaning and did not see their importance. And now, so much time later, she teaches others what she had heard from the wise woman before: pay attention to your man/woman – and you will get the reward! The first and very important secret of success in a relationship is giving respect and praise.
It is not difficult to praise your loved one sometimes, and at the same time, making a small compliment to his thoroughly trained bicep or her loving, caring nature. There is a human law: when we focus on someone’s quality, it brings development. If you constantly tell your man or woman how conscientious and diligent he/she is, that you can always rely on him/her, his/her sense of responsibility to you will increase and will keep developing.
If you emphasise any negative trait of your partner, then, alas, it will certainly begin to develop as well. You should praise your soulmate very sincerely, from your heart. Otherwise, all your words will not have a proper effect. Someone will say: “There is nothing to praise, there is nothing good in my spouse!” Stop! What do you mean, nothing to praise him/her for? And why did you love him/her first then? Why did you choose this person in the first place? YOU are responsible for the change, if any.
Remember something, the smallest thing that you can praise your loved one for. Well, sometimes it is not easy to do. Not only your resentments in your life but also the resentments of the whole lineage prevent you from doing it. Lineage resentments are the resentments of men and women in the whole family, of our ancestors. In such a situation, the help of a mentor, who will help you get rid of the negative feelings accumulated over the centuries, is very important. The effective way is to awaken God’s wisdom, inspiration and a sense of enthusiasm for a person. You will find the right words, compliments that you can easily give your partner.
Do you ask for help?
How often do you ask your spouse for help? Most likely, rarely… After all, we are used to solving our problems by ourselves. A modern lady will not be scared even if she needs to repair a house. Hammer a nail? Okay. Hang up the shelf? No problem! Replace the wiring in the house – women can do it too if we need it. We do not ask for help because we prefer making it quickly ourselves and forgetting about the issue. However, let’s still let the man show himself worth doing something. It doesn’t cost us anything, but your request will inspire him. And vice versa, as long as you are not making your woman do all the housework.
If a woman plays the role of an iron lady and does not allow the man to help, he will feel unneeded and devalued. He will feel like someone who does not spend his resources on his woman and starts to perceive her as a friend, partner, and ordinary cohabitant. Yes, asking for help is the second important rule to maintain a harmonious relationship. Are women called the fair sex? We argue it! But still, never hesitate to ask your husband or beloved wife for help and her perspective, even if you know that you can do better. Believe me, your spouse needs it.
A man needs to assert himself but also realise his need for a second opinion and value it more. No wife would want to talk to a man who puts her down, is rude, selfish or disconnected.
You praised him (remember the first rule), and now he wants to do something pleasant for you. Similarly, if you push your wife away and do not accept her help, then she will never feel valued. Give and take respect. He will think that you do not need him at all. She will become distant and be close to people who actually need her. Your connection will be on the verge of a break up. You should never let it happen. But if it is really difficult for you to ask your partner for help, work on your communications skills.
When was the last time you thanked your partner?
No matter the situation, the main thing is that these are sincere words of gratitude and they come from your heart. Sometimes, even the usual “thank you”, said with love, tenderness, is more important than the most beautiful and magnificent words! The words “thank you” are generally considered almost magical.
Therapists talk about the importance of gratitude to keep a good relationship going strong. Learn to say “thank you” to your partner more often. He/she will fell needed and loved. When in a hurry to come back home, bring a bouquet, because you want her to know you need her very much and she is very important to you.
One key to success in a long and happy life together is gratitude and not taking your spouse and her commitment to you and your family, kids, parents, siblings and even your extended family for granted.
What can be simpler? But think how often we do not say “thank you” and hurt our dear person. Do not forget to thank your own! Always say: “Thank you, my love! And you will now notice your connection becoming stronger.
Now you have learned the three simple rules, the three keys to success and the three components of a harmonious relationship with your beloved one.
Let’s remember them. Happiness, health, prosperity and love will surely come to you all – to stay!
By Natalie B.