At some point in our lives we have all experienced being single, whether it is through divorce, being widowed, or we just haven’t found the right spouse as yet.
Being single shouldn’t be frowned upon; in fact it should be embraced, in 1 Corinthians 7:8 the apostle Paul says, ‘To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.’
Yet many singles, especially Christians can have a feeling of discontentment with this status, like there is something wrong with them. It can be disheartening getting questioned by family or friends, asking ‘when are you going to get married and have children?’
Pastor Marcus Gill knows too well the struggles that single people face. Pastor Gill is the lead Pastor of Rush Church United in New Haven Connecticut, he is also an author, and motivational speaker. He has over 750,000 followers on social media Facebook, where he encourages people to remain positive about single, and most importantly shares the gospel of Jesus Christ. He has also been on numerous radio stations, and magazines. Recently he was on CBN Turning Point.
Pastor Gill, thank you for agreeing to do this interview. Firstly what are the challenges you have faced being a single Pastor, and how have you overcome them?
PMG: I would say there are two major challenges for me. First of all as a single young man, it’s not easy to always ignore a host of beautiful women throwing themselves at me, but because of my integrity and my heart to stand firm in righteousness I remain separate from those distractions. But, just because I choose to remain separate from those distractions it doesn’t mean they don’t still come. The second challenge I have being a single pastor, is going home alone after every service meeting or special event. I long for the day, when I can go home with my wife and be able to share the joy of what I do for the Lord, and also be able to confide in her when I have bad days. My days, I spend alone and that gets rough sometimes.
What are the advantages of being single?
PMG: When you are single you get to manage your life. You have the freedom to come and go as you please, have as many friendships and cold relationships that you desire. You get to save and spend your money how you desire, and have privacy. More importantly the greatest advantage of being single, is the fact that you have time to allow God to develop you for his purpose in your life and you can fulfil every God given assignment.
Should Christians date or just wait for their soul mate?
PMG: I believe that Christians should date. Hiding in your prayer closet is not going to get you a mate. I’m not encouraging anybody to rush into any commitments, but it is a good idea for you to go out, have dinner, and even go to a movie. In worship services you could get to know somebody. I always say be classy, be noticed and walk with integrity you never know who you may meet.
What advice would you give to those who are tired of being single and just want to get married?
PMG: This one is short and simple. Do not rush into a relationship. Getting married is not a cure for loneliness. God’s timing is always perfect when we try to do things in our timing we are guaranteed to fail, and if you get into a relationship based upon your timing that relationship is going to fail. Wait on God, believe God, trust God and know that when he says it’s time, it’s going to be time. Don’t rush and don’t force a relationship.
What do you think the signs are for true love, i.e. how would a person know if they have found the one?
PMG: Well that would be predicated upon their relationship with God. God speaks to us and he warns us when we’re with the wrong person and I also know and believe that he will also speak to us and tell us when we’re with the right person. There’s just a knowing. You’ll never have a sense or question on whether they’re the one. You will just know. It has everything to do with one’s relationship with God, that when God speaks they know he’s talking. God has a special way of giving us a yes or a no.
What are the keys to being single and happy?
PMG: It’s better to be single and satisfied than to be married and miserable. Enjoy your single status. Learning how to enjoy you. Love yourself, work hard and fulfil your dreams. Know that you’re never alone because you know God.
By Vanessa Grossett
Vanessa is a Literary Agent at the Authors Care Agency. She is also a columnist for the UK’s largest gospel magazine – Keep The Faith. She was born in London and raised in a Catholic home. Years after becoming a born again Christian, she published her first book called ‘Don’t Look Back – The Harmful Consequences for Backsliding’, in the year 2010. Read more of her beautiful writing here: https://www.