What defines serious dating?

People understand serious relationships differently. Some of them imagine dating in a restaurant or a stroll in the countryside. Others picture their wedding or even kids. But certainly, the majority will say that it’s a complicated thing and requires plenty of mutual efforts.

I dare to give my own definition of serious dating or a serious relationship. It’s when a couple moves along as a TEAM towards some goals in the relationship.

For example, when people think of themselves as a part of the team, they clearly see a future for their relationship. You share your strengths and weaknesses.

You do not pull the other person down. You travel life together, on good days and even after fights on ugly days.

Men interviewed about serious relationships or their lack of being in one, suggest three main signs your partner wants to be with you.

The first one is that your soulmate is not afraid – to show her real self to you, let the date meet his/her parents or  friends, post photos with you in social media, be completely free with you etc.

The second is when you become a solid part of their life. It means that the person sacrifices something for you. They can give up their time, hobbies, meeting with friends, reduce working hours, etc. They make you a priority and not an option to discard.

The third is when you become a part of their future. For example, you plan your vacations, trips, discuss visiting relatives, parents, your prospective life together.

But how do you know that YOU are ready for this? Young people today start their relationships online on dating websites. Others find each other using social media. Senior singles too have begun to find their soulmates on Dating Over 50 sites. Some meet people with the help of family and friends, but the numbers of youngsters finding a suitable partner online – that’s increasing.

Here are some tips to recognise that you are ready for a strong healthy relationship:

1. You don’t think about your EX from college and don’t stalk them online or otherwise.
2. You are ready to talk to new people and bring them into your life. If you did meet someone and messed it up because your EX treated you wrong, you are mature enough to go back, apologise and make amends.
3. The partner you are with doesn’t annoy you, so you make it a point not to annoy her/him. Mutual respect goes a long way.
4. You share similar moral values. But you do not CONTROL the other person.
5. You are not trying to change your partner. You are trying to see things also from their perspective. If she/he needed a judge, she/he would go to one.
6. You generously give and share. And you are not embarrassed to ask your beloved for help. If she/he is giving towards your family, chances are that she/he is a keeper.
7. You feel that you are doing the right thing. You know you both together can make it work.

With hard work and commitment,  you can become confident and build a healthy, happy relationship. You would never know if you didn’t even try!

By Oleg K,
Christ & Co.