When in love, we are not always able to stay calm and say the right things, especially if we have an issue within relationships that needs to be fixed. If you did something wrong or rude to a person you love you might know how awful an aftertaste of a fight is. Don’t lose a chance to build a happy life with a person you love because of foolish pride but find the best approach and apologise sincerely to someone you love.
The way #1: WITH THE WORDS
You need to think carefully through your fight and realise the fact you are wrong. The best thing to choose the right words to apologise is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Ask yourself several questions:
– why does she feel upset?
– what did you do to make her feel that way?
– what can you do to help her recover from this situation?
Imagine what you would like to hear from your wife or husband after a huge fight. Also, if the topic of your dispute is controversial then offer a compromise that will help you both to find a solution to this situation. Your girlfriend might not be ready for the conversation which is fine. Simply let her know you love her and it was never your goal to make her hurt. That will calm her down.
The way #2: SAY THE HARDEST WORD
It is not only Elton John who finds sorry to be the hardest word to say. Most people find this word as a showoff of weakness whereas we believe it is an indicator of a wise and caring person. It is okay to admit you were wrong or ask for forgiveness when rude chatting took place.
And make sure to pick the right words. You need to develop and improve your communication skills. Whatever one may say, words are important.
The way #3: BE READY FOR CHANGES
Relationships imply compromises as every person is different and we need to give way to someone’s opinion to coexist in peace. Tell your girlfriend you are ready to change if the matter of your fight is important for you. Ask her, what she would like to change in your relationships without interrupting and commenting but listening to her carefully.
You can be a bad boy in the beginning of your relationship, but you will need to evolve further.
Sometimes, a boyfriend or girlfriend might require more time to think over the situation so give it to her if needed.
Way #4: THE CALM CONVERSATION
This one is difficult however effective. Saying sorry is not enough most of the time. You need to be honest and clear when apologising to someone you love. Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you realise the mistake of yours, that you shouldn’t have acted that way, you really care for her and that’s why you can be too emotional and intemperate from time to time. Show your readiness to work on your reactions and ask if she is ready to give you a chance to fix it.
Way #5: GIVE HER SOME SPACE
Like we have said before, different people need different amounts of time to process a situation. The fact you understand your fault and are ready to move forward doesn’t mean she feels the same. Provide her with an opportunity to express her feelings, even the most destructive ones, like anger and resentment. But find the right balance between being mysterious and creepy. It is the price you should pay for being rude and disrespectful towards your beloved person.
Way # 6: BE GENEROUS
It is not the best thing to stud your partner with gifts every time you feel blame. What we mean by being generous is to give your partner positive emotions, share your thoughts and feelings more, take your girlfriend to a place she has been wanting to visit for a while, etc. It can be a park, cafe or a beach date.
Try to focus on creating a lovely experience with you to make her happy by your side again. You can simply pick a good movie for a date night. You need to get distracted a bit and calm down.
Way #7: WRITE A LETTER
If you are a shy guy that has no experience in compromising and apologising, then you should try to apologise via a letter. It is an excellent opportunity for a first-time-apologiser to reveal his worries and describe all the depth of his regret. Moreover, it won’t let you fight with your crush even more while the tension is still high. Choose the romantic way to present it, for instance, attach it to a stunning bouquet of her favourite flowers.
When apologising to someone you love, remember, she is special. The approach you have used towards your previous partners might not work with her. The most important thing about apologising is to show that you understand her feelings and you won’t make the same mistake again. Choose the right words to describe your thoughts on this situation as her misunderstanding can only make it worse.
Don’t wait for anything from her in return. The main thing with a sincere apology is that you need to focus on your blame and try to fix the damage harmed by you.
Money and gifts can’t fix the hole in her heart. She needs to feel your regret about what you did or said. She won’t appreciate your attempts to buy your way out of your fight and won’t accept your gifts probably.
Forget about giving ultimatums. If you want to apologise sincerely to someone you love, then don’t force her. Give her as much time as she needs to think over the situation and your apology. She might need some time to accept it as well.
Timing is also extremely important. Don’t delay that. Do you know how to find out if a girl has a boyfriend or not? If she has one, she does not really care about small things. So, don’t make her care.
Before starting the apologising process, ask yourself if you really need that forgiveness. In some cases, people have too different positions and quite challenging natures. In that situation, there is a huge probability of massive fights on a regular basis. So think, if the benefits of participating in relationships with this person have outweighed the cost.
The most important rule is to apologise when you know you are wrong but not when your girlfriend feels offended. She won’t respect a growling guy, you won’t either.
By Oleg. K,
Christ & Co.